Thursday Thoughts From Daily Om

Not Everybody Will Like You: Disapproving Faces

Not everybody we meet will like us and it is ok to move into acceptance rather than trying to make somebody like you.

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.

While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.

As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely. ~ Madisyn Taylor, Daily Om

divider4

As my mother put it, I was a sensitive child. Much like others, I wanted to fit in and be liked. I didn’t want to be treated differently. For 1st and 2nd grade, I went to a predominantly “black” school, where I had loads of friends. Unfortunately, because of its distance from our home and a perfectly good school within walking distance, I began 3rd grade in a new school, where my sister and I were among a handful Black children.

I was shy, kind and eager for friends, so when I met someone, I viewed it s an opportunity to forge a friendship. Nevertheless, often, children distanced themselves from me and there were some who acted on their dislike for me. They picked on and taunted me, and it hurt to be left out and ostracized. As a child, I was not concerned with race relations, I simply looked at the relationships that others had and wanted to be a part of it. I thought that something was wrong with me. Although I eventually made some friends, it still bothered me.

As I grew older, and I hope wiser, I have many friendships. Nevertheless, on occasion, I still meet those who do not like me for reasons that escape me. Of course, I want to be well thought of, however, over the years, I’ve come to understand that their problem isn’t about me, it lays with them. The negative energy created by such people, have no place in my life. There is nothing that I can do to change their hearts, and I no longer care to do so. It is my true friends whose opinions matter to me and with whom, I wish to surround myself.

At this point in my life, I find that Martha Graham summed it up beautifully when she quipped, “What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” Ultimately, the only thought that matters, is mine.

postsiggie2

 

Quote Tuesday

“Acknowledge the innate divinity of every person and wish everyone their highest good, just as you accept your own highest good in all aspects of your life. Wish for all people to be enlightened. Wish for all creatures to be happy and free to fulfill their purposes.” ~ Roy Eugene Davis

postsiggie2

Friday Wishes

I, Lydia, ruler over Lydialand (FYI: A long time ago, “Lydia” was a country in Asia Minor. :)) designate this day as “Be Happy” day. About an hour ago, I listened to the Pharrell Williams video “Happy” and all the singing and dancing made my heart happy and brought a smile to my face.

These have been challenging times for me and it is so easy to sink into a pattern of worry, sadness and depression. It is impossible to obsess with fears, worries or sadness if you listen to the song. If you’ve heard it before, you know what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t, you can decide for yourself. Even if it is just for the day, choose happiness. It’s infectious.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”//www.youtube.com/embed/y6Sxv-sUYtM” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

Have a beautifully, safe and happy weekend.

postsiggie2

Thursday Thoughts From Daily Om

English: Roaring lion

English: Roaring lion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Taking Risks: Permission To Be Real

“Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it real and have an intuitive sense about what that means. People who keep it real don’t hide behind a mask to keep themselves safe from their fear of how they might be perceived. They don’t present a false self in order to appear more perfect, more powerful, or more independent. People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are, the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide, sharing their full selves with the people who are lucky enough to know them.

Being real in this way is not an easy thing to do as we live in a culture that often shows us images of physical and material perfection. As a result, we all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and more successful. We are rewarded externally when we succeed at this masquerade, but people who are real remind us that, internally, we suffer. Whenever we feel that who we are is not enough and that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not trying to be something more than they are walk into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor, and warmth with them. They acknowledge their wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities without putting themselves down.

People like this inspire us to let go of our own defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe enough to take off our masks and experience the freedom of not hiding behind a barrier. Those of us who were lucky enough to have a parent who was able to keep it real may find it easier to be that way ourselves. The rest of us may have to work a little harder to let go of our pretenses and share the beauty and humor of our real selves. Our reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we will attract and inspire others, giving them the permission to be real too.” ~ Madisyn Taylor, Daily Om for November 12, 2014

divider4

“Keeping it real”–so much easier said than done. I think that most of us face this challenging issue every day. We work hard to foster the belief that we are happier, more courageous and more confident than we are in reality. We do so, not intending to deceive others, but as we learn from a young age, to hide any perceived “character flaws” that might subject us to unwanted criticism.

In many interactions, admitting to feelings, other than those that fit within societal expectations, expose us to ridicule or ostracism. As is the case in the animal kingdom, the evolutionary phrase “survival of the fittest” reigns in our society. For example, in the all important work environment, anything other than perceived strengths, jeopardize job advancement and standing. In society over all, respect and envy are reserved for those who seem to have it ‘all together;’ whereas, fear, doubt and weakness are vulnerabilities to be avoided at all costs.

The thing is that ‘being real’ requires us to choose courage and to embrace vulnerability–in spite of the outcome, be it good or bad.  For most of us, that is a difficult choice to make. As Brené Brown states here in her Ted Talk “The Power of Vulnerability,” the original definition of courage is “to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart,” that is, to be vulnerable. (I encourage you to take the time to listen to this talk as it is very powerful.) Yet, who wants to admit to fear, a lack of confidence, shame, envy, regret or any number of other negative feelings or emotions? Especially when doing so, broadcasts to our slice of the world that our lives aren’t as perfect as we’ve held them out to be. I know that I sure didn’t; thus, in this late 2013 post, I discuss my reasons for choosing the word “courage” as my aspiration for 2014..

Nevertheless, it also ensures that we are being honest with ourselves and others, and like the article suggests, inspires others to let go of the fiction that we have to feign perfection to succeed in life. “Keeping it real” is an invitation to acknowledge your imperfections as a means of overcoming them, and a way for others to know the real you, warts and all. As I stated in the earlier post that I referred to in discussing Brené Brown’s talk, “although vulnerability has its foundation in fear, shame and most other “negative” emotions, it is also the “birthplace” of creativity, love, joy, happiness, courage, and those emotions that we strive for.  Vulnerability is not an option that we chose, it is a fact of life.”

Life is not meant to be perfect, and in reality, such a life doesn’t exist. As I read some where recently, “you were born to be real, not to be perfect,” and that is also a fact of life.

postsiggie2