Not Everybody Will Like You: Disapproving Faces
Not everybody we meet will like us and it is ok to move into acceptance rather than trying to make somebody like you.
It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits.
While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity.
As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely. ~ Madisyn Taylor, Daily Om
As my mother put it, I was a sensitive child. Much like others, I wanted to fit in and be liked. I didn’t want to be treated differently. For 1st and 2nd grade, I went to a predominantly “black” school, where I had loads of friends. Unfortunately, because of its distance from our home and a perfectly good school within walking distance, I began 3rd grade in a new school, where my sister and I were among a handful Black children.
I was shy, kind and eager for friends, so when I met someone, I viewed it s an opportunity to forge a friendship. Nevertheless, often, children distanced themselves from me and there were some who acted on their dislike for me. They picked on and taunted me, and it hurt to be left out and ostracized. As a child, I was not concerned with race relations, I simply looked at the relationships that others had and wanted to be a part of it. I thought that something was wrong with me. Although I eventually made some friends, it still bothered me.
As I grew older, and I hope wiser, I have many friendships. Nevertheless, on occasion, I still meet those who do not like me for reasons that escape me. Of course, I want to be well thought of, however, over the years, I’ve come to understand that their problem isn’t about me, it lays with them. The negative energy created by such people, have no place in my life. There is nothing that I can do to change their hearts, and I no longer care to do so. It is my true friends whose opinions matter to me and with whom, I wish to surround myself.
At this point in my life, I find that Martha Graham summed it up beautifully when she quipped, “What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” Ultimately, the only thought that matters, is mine.
The Secret of Surrender: Seeing the Illusion
“Most of us were raised and live in a culture that emphasizes the ideals of independence and control. The general idea is that we are on our own and we don’t need any help from anyone else, and if we are really successful it’s because we are in complete control. However, true lasting success comes only with surrender, which is the opposite of control. We cannot accomplish anything truly great on our own, without any help, and the idea that we can is an illusion that causes most of us a great deal of suffering. Surrender comes when we see that illusion and let go of trying to attain the impossible. Surrender can then be seen as a great strength rather than a weakness.
Even small moments of surrender are powerful indicators of how different our lives could be if we would only let go. We’ve all had the experience of extending huge amounts of effort and energy to reach a particular goal only to realize that we can’t make it happen after all. At the moment of letting go, realizing that we need to ask for help or simply release our agenda entirely, a profound feeling of relief may rush over us. This warm, open sensation is the essence of surrender, and if we didn’t feel that we didn’t really let go. But it is never too late to let go, even of things in the past that didn’t work out the way we wanted them to, because surrender is always an option in every moment of our lives.
When we finally do surrender, our goals actually become possible, because the act of surrender is, in essence, asking for the help we need. This help may come in the form of other human beings or unseen helpers such as angels or inner guides. It may also come in the form of shifting circumstances, the small miracles that we call grace.”
~ Madisyn Taylor
As today’s thought states, surrender is applicable to achieving goals or coming to terms with the past. In reality, it applies to most any aspect of our lives. Yet, surrender doesn’t happen in a vacuum. In most cases, surrender does not arrive as a “light-bulb” moment. It is a process that we go through to reach the final goal–that is, surrender.
The most difficult part of the process is that period before we finally realize that surrendering is more desirable than what has come before. Granted, it is easy to say and much harder to do. Along the way, there are many starts and stops, to overcome those negative thoughts and feelings, that hinder our acceptance that the old ideals do not hold true and that we cannot, and aren’t meant to, do it alone. The irony is that it is the letting go that enables us to realize the full extent of which we are capable. Although surrendering may feel like a loss of control, in actuality, when we choose to do so, it is the moment when we take maximum control over our lives and the path it will take.
One cannot be forced to surrender or let go. If you are anything like me, the more that one tries to force anything upon you, the greater the likelihood that you will rebel against it. It is only when we make the voluntary and conscious choice to welcome the help of God, the Universe, or whatever your higher power may be, that we truly actualize surrender and the power that comes with it. In that moment, our actions and feelings are solely our own, and we choose to accept the help that has been there for the asking. We are strongest when we summon all the forces within our power, that long to join us in realizing our goals and our best selves. We are strongest when we acknowledge the endless possibilities that arise from surrendering to the idea that we are truly not alone.