With Gratitude For All

Cover of "Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gra...

Cover of Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gratitude

This is a post that I wrote a couple years ago. Today, I was preparing to write a Thanksgiving post, when I happened upon it. After reading it through, I realized that it perfectly expressed my present feelings. Instead of re-inventing the wheel, I offer it to you as my way of showing gratitude for you, whether your country celebrates the holiday or not. Gratitude is not a once a year day, it is meant to be practiced every day. So, with this post, I say “thank you’ for being such a blessing to me. Thank you for joining me on my journey. Have a blessed day.

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As I rush to and fro in preparation for this week’s holiday feast, I stop and consider the meaning of giving thanks, that is, the meaning of gratitude. According to wikipedia, “Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.” For most of us, it is quite easy to give thanks for the good things that happen in our lives. No, the difficulty arises when we consider our thoughts and feelings about those things that we deem “bad,” for instance, illness, a lost job, or the death of a child, spouse or close friend.Granted, these are no zippity do dah moments, but they too have undoubtedly  left us with some underlying “benefit” that may or may not have manifested itself as of yet.

For years, I have dealt with the  scourge of fibromyalgia– constant pain, depression, insomnia and more. I resigned from my 14 year job as a State’s defense attorney because my fibro symptoms adversely affected my work. It was impossible to concentrate on the case at hand while in excruciating, unrelenting pain.  There were too many days when I made it to work, only to lay writhing on my office floor. So for me, fibromyalgia is my nemesis, that one thing that I find it difficult to give thanks for. Yet, in most of clarity, I can see that the benefits are there.

Not too long after I went on disability, my mother had a stroke. She has always been in perfect health, so it was quite a shock. After she left the hospital, the options were a nursing home or our house. There was no question that  she would stay with me and my husband.  The thing is that had I still been working as an attorney, it would have been impossible for me to welcome my Mom into our home. I travelled constantly and was always trying cases in one Texas city or another. I was out-of-town more often than not. My disability became a benefit, because it allowed me to be there for my mother when she needed me. I am grateful for that.

We can’t pick and choose those things that we are grateful for. When we begin giving thanks, it is for everything that has gotten you to where you are today. As Oprah Winfrey writes, ” Gratitude for the whole journey of my life–not just everything that had gone right, but the things that had not.” I have to remind myself of this every single day.

I wish you and your loveds a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Blessings, Lydia

Quote Tuesday

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In the beginning was story. The caveman rushed back to his tribe and excitedly acted out his encounter with some Paleolithic beast. This was his story and forever after he would be remembered by this story. Every story has a sacred dimension not because of gods but because a man or woman’s sense of self and her world is created through them. These stories orient the life of a people through time, establishing the reality of their world. Thus meaning and purpose are given to people’s lives. Without story, we do not exist. The Way of Story is how we discover who we are.

                                                       ~Catherine Ann Jones

Quote Tuesday

Even a simple letter demands that we put all power into it that we have, as if we were to carve its meaning in hard stone. It’s the moment, when, in silence, we are able to to connect to our soul. But we also can apply that to any act performed with commitment, humility and love.

~ Paulo Coelho

I’ve Said “Yes” To The Mindful Consumption Challenge

Today is a special day, not only is it my son-in-laws’ birthday and All Saint’s Day, but it is also the beginning of  my Mindful Consumption Challenge. I read about the challenge on Eden’s blog here.  Instead of regurgitating all the challenge details, I urge you to read about it there. At first, I brushed the mere idea of challenge aside. I thought, “I could never do that!” Why, because it is exactly what I need to do.

You see, every nook and cranny of my house is filled with the spoils of my  shopping escapades. I complain that our house is not large enough but the truth is that I have too much stuff filling it.  For instance, I have enough makeup to open a store, most of which, I cannot possibly use.  Oh, and hair product hits and misses for my wild, kinky curly hair.  I think that I’ve tried most hair products for my hair and I have half-used bottles to show it.  Then, there are the books. I have books galore. at last count over 600. No, really, I am serious, and that does not include all the books that I have on my Kindle. My bedroom closets are overstuffed with clothing that still holds the price tag. Each year I do a yearly “stuff review” and although Goodwill gains many items, more likely than not, I  always find justification for keeping stuff that I obviously don’t need. I have not even discussed my collection of purple pens, candles, essential oils or kitchen ware.

As I gave some thought to my spending habits, I realized that the seeds of my present actions, were planted long ago in my younger years. As a child, we never went without food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over our heads.  Yet, we were raised by an amazing single Mom, doing all that she could to care for three, and later, four children. She worked hard for so little, and there was no getting around it, we were poor. We had no money for other than the necessities of life.  At a young age, I vowed that when I grew up, things would be different. I would have money to satisfy my needs, as well as my wants.  All these years, shopping has served as a rebuke to those long ago years when my ‘wants’ went unfilled due to a lack of money. Thoughtless shopping became the norm.  After due consideration, I realize that it is time to change.

Today I begin a new journey–one toward mindfulness in my spending habits. Coincidentally, I discovered a relevant book that I’d bought long ago titled “To Buy or Not To Buy” by April Lane Benson, Ph.D. In it, the author states:

“Mindful shopping, the habit you want to develop, doesn’t mean the absence of feeling but rather the presence and engagement of your mind. You observe what you’re feeling and thinking, what your heart and head are saying. You pay attention to what your body and soul are saying as well. You notice how you’re responding to your environment. You remember what you are shopping for, and you stay on track. You remember how much you intended to spend, and you limit your purchases to what you can comfortably afford. You act on your agenda, unswayed by advertisers’ or saleperson’s agendas or tactics aimed at pulling you off course. Your purchasing decisions lock into the grander plan of who you are; they aren’t based on anyone else’s ideas or even your own fantasies of who you might become. Mindfulness helps you make decisions based on conscious choice rather than impulse.”

This is my choice and my goal. I’ll let you know how I am doing, and I’d appreciate your support.