“It is ironic that
so often we continue to live
like paupers though
our inheritance of spirit is so vast.”
~ John O’Donohue
Monthly Archives: December 2014
Why I Don’t Rely On New Year’s Resolutions
The end of the year is only weeks away. It amazes me how quickly 2014 flew by, As I grow older, that seems the case; I am careening towards the inevitable, In any event, at this time of the year, I find myself thinking of the coming year, and how I’d choose to be better. In years past, I dutifully made my list of “resolutions” or “to-dos” for the coming year.
Largely, they were the same each year: exercise more, eat more healthfully, listen to my bodies’ needs, and on and on. The thing is, by late January/early February of the new year, my resolutions were in the junk pile with all the resolutions that had gone before. As with many people who I know, the act of making resolutions had become a mindless tradition of to-do lists, that eventually brought self-flagellation and disappointment. The making was easy, it was the doing that brought the challenge.
While I respect those who favor list-making for their resolutions, I learned that it does not suit me. So, last year, I sought another alternative. I decided to do away with my former to-do list, in favor of choosing a word that I would focus on for the new year. Now, this is not a new concept and many had already made the change. Nevertheless, I’d come to believe that the list-making had become a holiday to-do, yet another expection. When I scrutinized them, I discovered they had become a list of what I should already be doing, not a list of the deeper aspirations that I choose to live. Although, there is no doubt that they were worthwhile, they lacked the substance and intention that I sought to live a better and more authentic life.
Primarily, they were a list of to-dos, instead of the deep changes that I wanted to make in my life. I mean, while eating healthfully, exercising and drinking more water are noble endeavors, they did not strengthen what I refer to as the “soul’ qualities — those qualities that affect me at a core level. They fell short of the coveted inner qualities like compassion, creativity, lovingkindnes , generosity, courage, and other goals like letting go, self-love and forgiveness, living in the moment and acceptance of what is. I could go on, but I expect that you get my point. I longed to spend the year being, instead of doing.
While I’d previously chosen with my head, I knew that, in my case, I needed introspection which allowed me to listen to my heart. In 2013, I actually chose two words, “courage ” and “meraki.” I am not going to bore you with my reasons for doing so, but if it interests you, I urge you to read this post. In it, I discuss my reasons for choosing the word “courage.”) I chose “courage” first, and “meraki” came later.
I have no doubt that I need not define the word “courage” for you, except to say that I choose it for its original definition, instead of the common one that we bring to mind today. (I invite you to either read my post or to listen to this excellent TED talk by Brené Brown.) Although I will not discuss it further in this post, “meraki” is a noun which means “the soul, creativity, or love put into something; the essence of yourself that is put into your work.”
As I ended last year’s post, I explained that I chose the word courage, to “continue the task of telling the story of who I am, but in a more open and honest way. I seek the courage to tell it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. In all honesty, I [often] feel overwhelmed with fear, doubts about failure, and questions about my sanity. [:)], but every day I vow that I will imbue each interaction, each post, and each encounter, with the courage to be true to myself and others. I will pray for the courage to be vulnerable, whatever the result, and to be compassionate with myself when I inevitably fall, which I surely will. Yet, I will all pray for the courage to get up, and simply, begin again. By practicing “courage,” I hope to make “vulnerability” a way of life, a way of acknowledging that I am enough.”
As I reread this paragraph, the use of the word “vow” strikes me. It occurs to me that it forms the crux of what I’ve tried to say, albeit not very skillfully. It is what makes my one (or two) word choice differ from my former ‘to-do” list. By using the word “vow” I am not merely calling on my determination and resolve. No, with that said, I invite and call upon my faith in my higher power to join with me in helping to live my day-to-day life with the chosen intention and purpose. I invoke the sacred, which calls for a deeper commitment to meet my goal. I seek to acknowledge those qualities in my life where I fall short. In choosing a word, I do so with the intention to embrace it as a part of who I am and aspire to become.
The choice cannot be scheduled on a calendar. It is a contract with myself to live each moment of each day with that goal in mind. As I mentioned last year, there will be times when I fall short of my goal, for I am human and innately imperfect. The thing is that I am not required to be perfect, All that it requires of me is to live my life with conscious intention as I strive to move toward my best and highest self. “Every journey begins with the first step of articulating the intention, and then becoming the intention.” ~ Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason. Thus, ever the seeker, my journey begins.
Creative Writing Saturday
It Is Your Turn Now
It is your turn now, you waited, you were patient.
The time has come, for us to polish you.
We will transform your inner pearl into a house of fire.
You’re a gold mine.
Did you know that, hidden in the dirt of the earth?
It is your turn now, to be placed in fire.
Let us cremate your impurities. ~Rumi
Daily Om Thursday
Hearing The Whisper:
Underneath The Noise
You may have noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise generally only hurts your throat and adds to the chaos. Similarly, that still, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the raucous world outside. If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.
It is generally true that the more insistent voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we internalized from childhood or from the culture, and as such they possess only half-truths. Their urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and their urgency is what catches our attention. The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. Generally, once we have heard what it has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over our entire being, and the other voices and sounds, once so dominant, fade into the background, suddenly seeming small and far away.
We may find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice. We may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter as we become more interested in maintaining our connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message like the sound of the wind shaking the leaves of a tree. As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust, and confidence. ~ Madisyn Taylor, Daily Om
Listen. What do you hear? For many of us, it is a jumble of voices that clutter our minds. Be it at the office, walking down the street, at the shopping mall, the coffee shop, or even at home, there is a deluge of the odious cacophony of noises that overwhelm our senses. In my case, I grew up in a home where it was the norm to have multiple televisions, radios and loud conversations going on at the same time. I was a child who yearned for silence, but only knew chaos.
Even when we are alone, endless to-do lists bombard our heads, or, all to often, the drones of negative thoughts billowing their unsolicited advice and opinions. Although there are those who thrive in a loud, boisterous and frenetic environment, most of us can only absorb it in bits and pieces. After a time, we long for the quiet and stillness that is a diversion from the raucous, noisy life of the outside world. I believe that is why meditation attracts me. At its nature, it demands quiet and stillness. The practice forces you to seek a space and time of solitude, and to ignore the constant chatter that relentlessly fills my head.
The thing is that at our core there is an infinite expanse of quiet, stillness and wisdom. As the article alludes to, those ‘whispers,’ speak quietly and carry a big stick, but they do not and will not seek to overcome the rancor of the unbridled mind. No, it is up to us to give it the environment in which it can share its abundant wisdom with us. In this hurry-hurry world, I realize that is easier said than done. Yet it is important, and by doing so, we bless ourselves with a most precious gift — that is, the ability to listen to the only voice that matters, our hearts.
seeking querencia 