The Whirlwind

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Calm Texas Skies

Okay, I admit it. I am not Super Woman or Zena the Warrior Princess. I am just little old me and this month’s been kicking my butt. First, I was in really bad pain for swathes of the month and after years of fibromyalgia, I still don’t deal with it very well. Once I got that under control, I messed my car up by swerving to avoid a deer and in the process, I murdered a neighbor’s mailbox. It was in pieces all over the front lawn.

Yesterday, I brought my car in to get a repair estimate and the damage is far greater than I’d imagined. As for the mailbox, my exceptionally kind neighbor (As an aside, let me give you a tip. It is not a wise idea to meet a neighbor for the first time, when you’ve destroyed their property. No, not a good idea at all.) Although I intended to pay whatever the cost to repair the mailbox, my neighbor called me, less concerned about her mailbox and more concerned about me and my car. She proceeded to tell me that I was not to worry about the mailbox because her husband was going to fix it. They didn’t want anything from me. I listened in silence and warmed at such a display of kindness in action. News of life’s horrors surround and inure us to the wonder, beauty and kindness of life. I feel blessed as the recipient of such kindness.

I’ve also been planning, and planning some more, for my big trip to California. My beautiful daughter is about to have her second son and of course, Mom must be there. (I can’t imagine being anywhere else.) The thing is, however, that I am, at heart, an introverted, home body, and leaving my cozy little zone of comfort for almost a month was messing with my head. I’ve finally dealt with all the little gremlins and the excitement is building and I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. I enjoy a very close relationship with her, in fact, she is one of my very best friends, so it will be nice to visit her and help out as I can.

One of the challenges is that I am taking a million painting e-courses, and I’ll need to find time to check in on those. Drawing and painting have become a sort of art therapy for me, so they’ve become a need, instead of something that I want to do. Also, traveling with fibromyalgia is hell. It takes two or three days for me to return to my pre-trip health. Overall, I need more down time than most people and I want to help out as much as I can, and not disappoint my daughter. I want to spend as much time as I can doing things with her and my amazing g’son–that little guy is so precious to me. Of course, I will also enjoy spending time with my “couldn’t have hand-picked a better” son-in-law.

The packing is the biggest challenge. I’m trying to keep it within Southwest’s 50 pound limit. Of course, I can pay the overage charge, but why do that when I don’t have to. Unfortunately, I am not a light packer, although even I am taken aback by the amount of “stuff” that I’d like to bring. I justify it by saying, “I’ll be gone for almost a month, so I need all this crap.” I actually whittled the stuff down, but it’s still an iffy proposition. I intended to use one huge suitcase, (which by the way, must weight 10 pounds by itself), but I haven’t even gotten my shoes in there and it is already approaching 35 pounds. Tomorrow is D-Day, so we’ll see.

All in all, there is still lots to do, and those Super Woman skills would come in handy about now. As usual, all of my worrying will be for nothing and I will get it all done. The whirlwind will settle into a light breeze, I will breathe a sigh of relief, and the calm will set in. I will certainly miss my Texas family, but I can’t wait to sit safely ensconced on that inviting couch in California. The leaving is the hard part, but the getting there is oh so exciting.

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Transforming The Jangling Discord Of Our Nation III

United States

United States (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

“This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.” ~Martin Luther King

I have been sick for the better part of this week, so I am listening to my body and taking a brief blogging siesta. For that reason, portions of this post are from an earlier post, one that I feel so strongly about that, over the years, I’ve posted it twice, (You can read the posts here and here.) It saddens me that there remains a need to revisit the topic.

As an initial matter, I could not allow more time to go by without mentioning and recognizing the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which is described as:

a landmark piece of civil rights legislation in the United States that outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. It ended unequal application of voter registration requirements and racial segregation in schools, at the workplace and by facilities that served the general public (known as “public accommodations“).”

In the interest of brevity, I discussed more about the Act in this post. In brief, the Act was the culmination of a tumultuous time in American history when this country was torn apart over matters of race. Inequality reigned and the Act served to place all citizens on a level playing field, each with the same rights promised by the United States Constitution. The intention of the Act was, among other things, to begin the extraordinary task of healing the wounds of a divided nation. However, as I celebrate the Act,  I find that I am not thinking of all that the Act has accomplished and that yet to be accomplished. Instead, foremost in my mind, I am reminded of the very real problems currently facing our nation.

The problems about which I am speaking is the vitriol, rancor and hatred that has permeated American society during the last decade. It is commonplace to see references to “red” states and “blue” states, Republicans and Democrats, but these labels serve nothing more than to further divide a populous that is already dangerously separated. It’s “us’ verses “them.”

For a large segment of this country, agreeing to disagree is akin to an accusation of a heinous act. Differences of opinions are now regarded as personal attacks, and in some cases, may lead to such. Families are torn apart, friendships are irrevocably damaged, and in some instances, employees, fearing for their jobs, cast their votes as instructed by their employers. Ironically, those who are the first to scream and shout if it seems that their First Amendment rights are even slightly infringed upon, are the very people who shamelessly denigrate the beliefs and points of view of others, all the while championing their own.

On a grand scale, there is no simple or quick fix to the angry, hateful climate that has festered for more than a decade. We cannot look to the media, politicians, or anyone else for that matter, to address the problem, because in some cases, they participated in stirring the pot of discord that has boiled to overflowing. The answer lies within each of us.

Of course, there are many actions that we each can take to make sure that we are not part of the problem, but a part of the solution. The first and most important step is to recognize that there is indeed a problem. Doing so, allows each one of us to take responsibility for our own actions, and to set a mindful intention not to add to the divisiveness.

One suggestion is to begin each day with this affirmation:

“Today I will attempt to see anything I am involved with from more than one perspective. If I feel myself getting stuck in the way I see things, I will say to myself, “I wish to see this differently,” and know that my sincere desire will result in a shift of awareness. There is really no one right way to see anything. To allow my point of view to shift will not only produce insight and relief for a particular circumstance but it will give me practice in letting my mind move freely and independently. I will allow myself the luxury of relaxing my rigid point of view and letting new light and fresh awareness come into my inner sight. I believe that it is possible to see things in a variety of ways.” ~Tian Dayton, Ph.D.

How you choose to deal with the problem is up to you, so long as your solution is positive, and does nothing to add to it. Listening and treating others and their point of view with the respect that it deserves, does not mean that we must change our point of view one iota, but who knows, we might learn something. The important thing for the health of this country is that we “transform the jangling discord of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood,” as Dr. King envisioned. Let it begin with you.

Have a great weekend!

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A Fact Of Life

Life is a precious gift. Don't waste it being ...

Life is a precious gift. Don’t waste it…. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

I have a confession to make. Although I don’t watch television, with the aid of internet apps, I don’t have to miss my favorite shows. I, armed with a law degree, am embarrassed to admit that most of my favorite shows are about the supernatural. Give me zombies, witches, vampires and the like and I’m a happy girl. (I blame it on being born and raised in New Orleans, where tourists clamor for voodoo dolls and potions as souvenirs.) One of my all-time favorite shows is “Charmed.” Without going into boring detail, the show is about three sister witches whose destiny is to fight demons, warlocks and all manner of evil supernatural beings.

Anyway, in addition to loving what some would view as mindless drivel, I also love meaningful and thought-provoking quotes. As crazy as it sounds, I heard one as I watched an episode of “Charmed.” The quote is:

“Life only has meaning because there is an end. Death is what forces people to live.” ~Death, “Charmed,” Season 7, Episode 5.

Now, if you are like me, death is not on your top ten list of things to talk about. Yet, for all of our dodging the issue, it is an inevitability for each of us. I find the quote comforting in a way, because instead of focusing on death, it serves as a call to us to live each moment of our lives as enthusiastically and fully as possible. It punctuates the preciousness of our lives and incentivizes us to stop with the procrastination and to live our dreams, as meaningfully as we can. Take that long-awaited trip. Read that book that has been on your end table for months. Learn a new language. Use your best china, just because. Say I love you, over and over again. Take risks. Life offers endless possibilities.

Each of us has our own “bucket list,” and it is time to take it from the level of aspiration, to experience. The thing is that we put off our dreams and desires at our peril. Life is meant to be lived–now!

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A Stranger’s Kindness

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Today started out as a very ho-hum day. I woke up exhausted and longed to cover my head and stay in the cozy, comfort of my bed. Unfortunately, that was not to be, because I had a scheduled appointment and I needed to get up, take a bath and pick up my daughter, in that order. I was determined that, for once, I’d arrive early. (Boy, was she surprised!) Anyway, we reached our destination (early, I might add), and walked into the office to the very perplexed faces of the office staff. I said that I was there for my appointment and after looking at one another, they informed me that they’d left a message last week that the doctor would be out of the office. I didn’t get the message, and I was perturbed, not at them, because I have no doubts that they left a message, but at the thought of the cozy bed that I’d left for no reason.

Anyway, I came home, still annoyed at the wasted trip. As I arrived home, I stopped at the end of our driveway by the mailbox to pick up the mail. When I got inside, I leafed through it and finding nothing of interest, tossed it on the table. In my haste to get out of the house, I had to forego breakfast, so, I was ravenous. I hurriedly ate lunch. Since I promised a friend to look into a legal issue for her, I headed off to do some legal research. I slogged through 65 pages of a Texas statute until my head was almost touching the keyboard from exhaustion and boredom, so I decided to take a break. Thirsty, I went to the dining room table where I left my drink to find mail for me — a post card. Apparently, I’d overlooked it earlier as I rifled through the mail.

I knew immediately that it was a New York post card based on the prominently displayed Statute of Liberty and the initials “NYC.” Now, I love to receive the surprise card or letter in the mail, but as I racked my brain to identify the card’s sender, I came up empty. I turned the card over and I instinctively looked for a signature. To my surprise, I didn’t recognize the name — not at all. I checked the address, thinking that it was meant for someone else, but there was my name and address written clearly and decisively.

At the top of the card was the word “HOME,” and below it a magical, whimsical list of what the word means to the sender. My favorite is “a moment and place in which you realize your world is perfect, however fleeting that perfection is, and clarity becomes a reality.” While reading the post card, my ho-hum day became anything but. The simple post card and the obvious thought behind it, warmed my heart, put a smile on my face and made me feel extra-special, all at the same time.

Today, it took the kindness of a stranger to remind me of life and its promise of serendipity and surprise. I mean, when things happen for reasons that you can’t explain, they serve to punctuate the potential for mystery and wonder in each precious moment. The post card also goes to show that an act of kindness need not be a significant thing to make a big difference in someone’s day or life. I feel blessed that by happenstance, a post card sent by a kind stranger, made my day a memorable one. Because of her actions, I am also reminded to pay it forward, to make a difference in someone else’s day. It is the very least that I can do.

Blessings and grace, Lydia

All Will Be Well, ~ Julian of Norwich