A Thought For Your Sunday

Posted on June 14, 2020 by Lydia | Leave a comment

Made By Lydia Kimble-Wright with Over App

A Letter To My Baby Brother

Posted on May 21, 2020 by Lydia | Leave a comment

Dearest Baby Brother,

Happy birthday darling! I wish that I could deliver this greeting In person, but since you died so young, that is impossible. Based on my beliefs, which were yours as well, I believe that you are up there in heaven, healthy, and watching over all of us. At times, I swear that I can feel your presence all around me, and I find that quite comforting.

This letter is not meant to be a downer. No, I want to celebrate you, and tell you how blessed I feel to be your sister. Although it has happened ever so slowly, over the years, the good memories that we shared, outweigh my grief over losing you. Grief is funny that way — it affects each of us in different ways, and no one can decide when another person “should be over it.”(I hear people say this much too often, and I am quick to refute that claim.) Now, instead of tears borne of grief, I cry tears of happiness at the mere memory of you.

You see, I finally reached a sense of acceptance and peace about your death. I am not saying that a day goes by that I don’t miss you, but the raw hurt, sadness, and anguish has been replaced with the joy of sharing a life with you, and the pride of being your big sister.

The wonderful memories of you are too many to name. Yet, I remember the day that Mom brought you home from the hospital. I loved you from the moment that I lay eyes on you. As the oldest, I assigned myself your protector, and vowed that I’d let nothing happen to you.

I remember that after great-grandmother could no longer keep up with you, Mom placed you in daycare. At first, you hated it. Every day, for a month or so, you could be found by the gate, crying and waiting for Mom to pick you up. You insisted on wearing sunglasses, so that the other children wouldn’t see you cry. I remember those times that I picked you up from daycare, and we walked home with your hand in mind, as you told me about your day. I held your little hand for dear life.

I remember that you were always funny, and could make us laugh. I remember that when I got pregnant, right after high school, and compounded the problem by moving out to get married, you never disparaged or showed any disappointment in me. Regardless of what others thought, you didn’t care. In fact, although you are only 9 years old, I remember you taking at least two buses to see me, and ultimately, your first nephew in our teeny, little apartment. Your actions touch my heart to this very day. And, you were a great uncle who loved and delighted in your nephews and nieces.

As you grew older, you were a constant source of pride, and although I thought it impossible, I loved you more. You graduated high school, and moved on to college. You were living in San Francisco, and had just finished your final year at the University when you were diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. I was in awe of the strength, grace, and faith with which you faced the situation. I remember your determination and zeal to overcome the disease. I remember your insistence that life would go on, so you decided to move away from home to seek your Masters in Communication. Although you didn’t love to see your diploma, Mom treasures it, as it sits in the frame that you bought for it.

Alvin, you were, and remain, a blessing to me and even though I was the oldest, you were always a wise old soul and your life and death taught me, among others, things like:

Love never dies.
To tell those that you love, how much you love them and what you mean to them~~often.
To be brave in the face of adversity.
To take risks.
To be kind to others, but don’t be a doormat.
To speak up for yourself.
To speak up for injustices.
That loyalty, truth and trust are traits that one should live by.
To maintain your sense of curiosity.
To be true to yourself.
To live life to its fullest.
To know all of your options, before making a decision.
That wisdom is not age-dependent.
To appreciate, appreciate, appreciate the small blessings in life.
To constantly count your blessings.
To live a life that you can be proud of.
That you are never promised another moment.
To defend your family fiercely.
To savor life with all of your senses.
To be adventurous.
To love outside of your comfort zone.

All in all, I remember a man who exemplified a zest for life, an incredible spirit and was the epitome of a compassionate and caring person. Your positively touched the life of everyone who was fortunate enough to have been in your presence. You were a loving brother. (I mean, what brother hangs a picture of his big sister up in his high school locker?!?! lol) Sweetie, you were a blessing to me, and I am a better person for having known you. If given the opportunity, there are things that I long to share with you, but I am comforted by the belief that I adequately conveyed to you how very much I love you. About that, I have no regrets. Besides, I believe that you are already privy to everything that I wish to share.

I still love this quote from this earlier post about you:

“And you will continue now, and forever, to redefine your relationship with your deceased loved one. Death doesn’t end the relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship – one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love.” ~ Ashley Davis Bush, “Transcending Loss”

I am a lucky person for having shared a life with you, and as I expressed in the above post, you will always be my dear, sweet brother. I’d have it no other way. Thank you for being, and enjoy a heavenly birthday.

❤️Happy Mother’s Day❤️

Posted on May 10, 2020 by Lydia | Leave a comment

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother, you are no longer
the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children.” ~ Jessica Lange

As the mother of three grown children and many g’children , I am familiar with the job of motherhood. I say “job,” because in spite of being a licensed attorney for over 26 years, being a mother is the far harder of the two. In the best of circumstance, a child has an intact family with a mother and father. Nevertheless, in most cases, it is the mother who takes the primary role of raising the child. Children do not come with an instruction manual and even the best of mothers make mistakes. Yet, so long as a mother imbues her child with unconditional love, kindness, the strength of character, respect for themselves and others, honesty and most importantly, curiosity, the child will prosper.

For all of you mothers and g’mothers out there, and in some cases, fathers, toiling to raise amazing human beings, I commend you for your efforts and wish you peace, happiness, good health and boundless love. I also wish you a day of relaxation, pampering and peace, because you certainly deserve it and more. Thank you for undertaking a role that, thanks to your love and guidance, will hopefully serve to produce an adult well-equipped to face and contribute to our society.

For those friends who have lost your Mother, you are in my thoughts. I pray that you hold good thoughts and memories about your beloved mother and that she is still alive in your heart. She will always be your Mother.

Finally, to those friends who are Mothers who have lost your precious children, I can’t presume to comprehend your thoughts and feelings, except to the extent that when I think of losing one of my beloved children, it shatters my heart. All that I can say is that I am sorry for your loss and pray for you as you go through this day. Yet, you still are, and always will be, a treasured mother. Happy Mother’s Day!

With Gratitude To My Mother On Mother’s Day

Posted on May 13, 2018 by Lydia | Leave a comment

Carol at 18

“I AM WHO I AM, BECAUSE YOU ARE, YOU ARE.”

I feel that it would be remiss of me not to disclose that I wrote almost all of this post for Mother’s Day 2016. I was about to write a Mother’s Day 2018 post, and I decided to look to the past, to see what I’d written. I stopped at this one, and I knew what I had to do. THIS POST STILL SAYS IT ALL. Moreover, consider it recycling. With so much ❤️, Lydia

No, I am not responsible for the above lyrics. They are from an iPhone/Sprint web commercial in honor of Mother’s Day. I am not much for commercials, but I am an admitted sap, and when I heard those words, well, my heart warmed with familiarity and love. The thing is that my mind churned over an upcoming post (this post) for my dear Mother. As of late, my life has been a flurry of stressful news, but on Thursday, I remembered that Sunday was Mother’s Day. I could not let the day go by without expressing my gratitude to my mother.

I am blessed, and I know it. I know countless members of my family and friends for whom the day brings nothing more than bittersweet memories because their mothers have passed. At the same time that I ache for their loss, I am infinitely grateful that my mother sits a mere three doors away enjoying one of her favorite television programs. Over the years, I’ve learned a great deal from my mother. Like most of us, I did not realize that when I was growing up. I thought that she had little to teach me. As I grew older, I began to realize the wisdom of her quiet teachings. The positive traits within me were gifts from my Mother, and for which I am deeply indebted. I treasure them as much as the woman who handed them down to me.

With that said, I introduce to you, the woman who I am proud to call my Mother:

A mother and child’s relationship begins from the womb. Studies show that even from the womb, babies can sense their mother’s emotions. I imagine my prenatal self, moved by my mother’s SELFLESSNESS when, even though she was 18 years old with a bright life ahead of her, she chose to give that up and have me.
She taught me STRENGTH and GRACE in the face of an obstacle when my father abandoned us and left her with three small girls to raise. At the time, she was a stay-at-home mother with no outside employment. She wasn’t even left with any clothes for us.
Instead of bemoaning her fate, she jumped into ACTION to find a job to care for us. Her HUMILITY, FORTITUDE, DETERMINATION, and DRIVE led her to a job cooking for the Archdiocese of New Orleans, a position where she remained for 42 years.
Throughout her life, she has sought to maintain her INDEPENDENCE so that she would never be forced to solely rely on anyone for her well-being.
Over the years, her TIRELESS WORK ETHIC has been epic. From as far back as I can remember, Mom worked up to three jobs to put food on the table, keep a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and to give us a private Catholic school education to prepare us for a better life. As we grew into adulthood, she continued to work multiple jobs. Hurricane Katrina forced her to slow down. Later, even after a stroke and a broken hip, she is usually washing and folding clothes, cooking delicious meals and cleaning, as best she can.
Even though we were poor, my mother stressed PRIDE in our appearance and decorum.
My mother’s past is replete with many tragic losses, including the loss of my dear baby brother. Through it all, she maintained her fervent FAITH, TRUST, and BELIEF in God.
After she had a stroke and lost much of her independence, she displayed a level of calm ACCEPTANCE that allowed her to forge a new path in life.
She has always chosen to LIVE IN THE MOMENT and eschews being bound by the past. Of all of her qualities, I envy this one most.
Although she doesn’t use these words, she lives by the edict that “IT IS, WHAT IT IS,” and refuses to let circumstances out of her control, control her.
She has COMPASSION and KINDNESS for all, including those with less than she. Her GENEROSITY led her to make plates of food for neighborhood people in need, and to offer ready help to those who needed it.
She is DEDICATED to and LOVES her family and many friends.
Her FEARLESSNESS led her to live for decades across from a housing project, which, for a while, was named the most dangerous in the country.
She personifies HONESTY.
Her LAUGHTER echoes throughout the house.

So on this special day set aside to honor our mothers, I say to mine, “Dear Beautiful Mother, I thank you and I love you most. Your decision to have me changed the direction of your life and for that, I owe you my life. As I grow older, in my eyes, you grow taller and taller. Little by little, the blinders that have obscured the whole of you, fall from my eyes and I recognize you in me, and that makes me smile. I think back to the time when I thought to myself that I never wanted to be like you and here I am relishing the fact, that the better parts of me are from you. You’ve been my cheerleader, benefactor, promoter, referee, banker, teacher, coach, doctor, savior, chef, counselor, shoulder to cry on, friend, offensive co-ordinator, warden, mentor and more. I am grateful for these roles that you’ve played. Yet, all pale in comparison to the Mother that you’ve been to me. I am blessed to know you and be your daughter. It is my hope that I have given my children a small fraction of the goodness that you’ve given me. I love you, love you, because you are, you are. With love and gratitude, your daughter, Lydia”

Happy Mother’s Day to Moms of every stripe and color, be you a step-Mom, GrandMom, Father/Grandfather in the role of Mom, Guardian, foster Mom, co-Moms or what have you!!! You are serving a vital role in our society and you deserve our gratitude every day, not only one day of the year.

#happymothersday #theloveofamother #ilovemymother #endlesslove #tomymotherwithlove #mymothermyhero #crmagraff #iamwhoiambecauseyouareyouare #blessingstomymother