For the past eight weeks, I’ve been submersed in an e-course given by the lovely Susannah Conway. In Susannah’s words,
“The Unravelling process is a new way to view your world, taking time to appreciate the beauty around you. And we do this in the simplest way: we stop and look. Beginning with your feet, you’re going to go on a photo safari into your own life to reconnect with who you are, where you’ve been and where you want to go next.” http://www.susannahconway.com/e-courses/unravelling/
The course is an 8 week opportunity to delve within and excavate our inner artifacts, be they yearnings, forgotten memories, dreams, hurts or what have you. Each week Susannah skillfully guided us, via ideas, questions posed, group discussion, photographs and writing to a topic of unravelling. An integral part of Susannah’s courses is the community of women from 40 countries that gather together to unravel together. You can’t have a more supportive and loving group of fellow unravellers who gather together simply to support one another and to discuss what we learned.
For me unravelling is the beginning of the long process to get back to my true self. By unravelling, I ‘ve realized that I’ve been hiding behind an illness and waiting for a return to the status quo–a return that will never come. The unravelling is never easy, nothing worth doing ever is, but what is left after the unravelling is the key, the answer to the real you. Unravelling requires me to be brave to accept the truth of the matter, and to commit to unravelling until I’ve stepped into who I am–the real me. My first unravelling lesson is that I have to tell my story and I feel less vulnerable doing that’ so stay tuned.
Lately, I have been worrying about my age and how I look; especially when in the company of others. So, when dressing for my counseling appointment it seemed natural to put on a little makeup for the visit. I choose eye makeup and lip gloss. My youngest daughter has been driving me to appointments and errands because I could not drive because of some treatments that I was undergoing. So she picked me up for my appointment, to which I went to, before we picked up my g’daughter (short for grand daughter) Dai from pre-K. We later picked Dai up from pre-K.
First, I will say that I have a very close relationship with Dai. I see her often and we talk daily, and are always glad to see one another. Anyway, as is usual, my reunion with Dai at school involved her catching sight of me and running to greet me with a big hug and an “I am so glad to see you g’Mom “(short for grand mother) Then she takes my hand and introduces me to her teachers and all of her many friends who are told to “Say hi to my g’mom.” They say hi and we can go on our way.
After picking up Dai, we were driving me back home and as is our habit, I sit in the back seat with Dai. [As an aside, her parents or any of us who do so always laugh about driving Miss Daisy!] We were talking about her school day , which is alway “excellent, Out of the blue, Dai turned to look at me curiously. I knew she had something in mine, so I just waited her out. Finally, she asked, ‘g’mom, what is that purple stuff along your eye lashes? I was surprised that she even noticed. I told her it was eye makeup that women sometime use to look pretty. She shook her head seriously and said “G’mom you shouldn’t use eye makeup because you are pretty like me and you don’t need makeup to be pretty. The only makeup that I will use is lipgloss.” As I was hugging her and saying thank you, I was thinking, ”out of the month of babes.”
Nyckelring (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
For months now, I’ve been undergoing some medical treatment during which driving is a contra-indication. At first, I thought “no big deal” and I relished the idea of being chauffeured about like I was Miss Daisy, but that feeling has long sense passed. That feeling is long since gone. I now realize that it’s true that we don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone. I’ve come to realize that along with my ability to drive, went my freedom to do what I want, when I chose to do it, for as long as I chose, without catering to anyone else’s needs. I can’t wait to get those things back. When I do, I won’t be taking them for granted.