How I’ll Live In Roaring 2020s

For years now, I’ve chosen a word or a set of word(s) that represent the qualities that I wish to add, focus upon, or prioritize in my life during the new year. I gave up on making futile New Year’s resolutions, that, by February, lay in the dust bin of resolutions from years past. In 2020, I can’t seem to select only one or two words, so I have chosen three words that stir my soul, and one that I hope to interweave throughout every aspect of my life, not only this year, but every year. My words are: fearlessness, meraki, efflorescence, and curiosity.

In choosing a word(s) for the year, I state my intention to become more familiar with the word(s), and to experience the depth and breadth of the words in my life. More importantly, I intend to embrace the word to understand and learn more about my world, such as, why I make the choices that I make, think the way that I do, and how I can live a fuller life.

In my case, all of my chosen words speak to the doldrums that has gripped me for some time, and that have kept me from realizing the full extent of my creative passions and abilities. For years, I have called myself an artist, but I have been too afraid to act on it. For a time, I created my mixed media work. I even designed business cards, a website, and took an ”Art of Business” course. The website has yet to be published, and for the past year, I haven’t created anything of note.

I believe that the word “fearlessness” is obvious. How many of us are stymied by our fears? Although a healthy amount of fear is a good thing, too much can paralyze one to inaction. Fear is the source of many dashed or unrealized dreams. In my case, it has stopped me from pursuing my passions of painting, and from living my life fully. This year, I want to face my fears, and live in spite of them.

The state of ”fearlessness” extends, not only to my creative life, but to my life as a whole. It is a weighty invitation for me to live my life without allowing fear to limit my actions. A feeling of fearlessness opens us to new things and experiences, and propels us to undiscovered heights. Many children seem to be innately fearless, and lest we reign them in, they will leap headfirst into their chosen experience. My goal is to approach life with the fearlessness of a child, tempered by the wisdom of my adult years.

The next two are not well-known, but just as important to me. “Merake” is a modern Greek word that is often used as a verb, adverb, and some say adjective. It is defined as “the act of putting your soul, creativity, or love into whatever you do. Meraki is about imbuing whatever you do with such passion that it leaves an imprint of you within it. defines “efflorescence,” a noun, as “the time and process of budding and unfolding of blossoms.” It is thought of as a period of great prosperity or productivity. When something is in the process of “efflorescence,” it is blooming, and I am not simply speaking of flowers. It applies to any creative, intellectual or passionate endeavor in which you engage.

By focusing on these two words, I intend to mine the well of passion, creativity and inspiration that resides within me. Whether it is through painting, learning languages, aromatherapy, or making natural perfumes, I want my life to embody both words to the depths of their meaning. By doing so, I want to imbue all that I do with my heart and soul so that it carries within it, a part of my unique and best self.

I chose the words ”meraki” and ”efflorescense” to motivate me to let go in the arena of my creative pursuits, painting, drawing, writing, and more. So, why did I chose the word “curiosity?”

Curiosity expands and pervades our world, and I intend to use it to guide me in the Roaring ‘20s. Without it, we stay stagnant, unable to step out of our comfort zone to expand our boundaries. Curiosity is not limited by space or time. It exists, welcoming us to uncover the truth of it all. It applies to both our outer and inner worlds. I want to learn whether curiosity buoys me or whether I lack the willingness to delve deeper to explore and answer the questions that populate my mind. Or, am I missing the opportunity to finally discover facets of myself and my world that lay brimming with relevant knowledge? Furthermore, I what can I do to invite more curiosity into my life?

It brings to mind the look on the face of my grandchildren as they tackle a new task, like learning to ride a bike or to negotiate roller skates. Fiercely determined, tireless, and undaunted, they forge ahead until they overcome any obstacle, and that is how I intend to approach this year.

The name of this blog is “Seeking Querencia,” and it is named so for a reason. I chose it because I longed to mine my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and even biases, to expose answers to questions about where I’ve been and where I am going. I needed to learn more about me. At this time in my life, I need that more than ever. With each passing year, I feel a sense of urgency to answer the unanswered questions, and “curiosity” is my vehicle towards that end.

As a participant in the outer world, it, too, holds my curiosity. The outer world is ripe with fruit to peak my curiosity. For example, I find that there is much to discover about people with whom I am familiar. I know them, but do I really “know” them? In most cases, we don’t take the time to dig beneath the surface to know the most integral part of a person — their story. Knowing one’s story is a doorway to a more profound understanding of that person. Curiosity opens that door.

All in all, much like explorers discovering new lands, I look upon 2020 with anticipation and unfettered possibility. Where will it take me? What adventures should I look forward to? It is a certainty that some answers will be met with surprise and skepticism, others denial and still others agreement. What answers await me, both large and small? Will those answers raise more questions? It is no wonder that trepidation stands within me beside my sense of anticipation. It is a scary undertaking. Yet, as the year passes, I will think of the wisdom excerpted from Dr. Seuss’s “Oh The Places You Will Go.”

“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. but mostly they’re darked. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?” ~ Dr. Seuss

The door to 2019 is closed. Two thousand twenty presents an expansive landscape of promise. Similar to the 1920s, this year will be one of positive change and excitement —my own Roaring 20s. It will guide me into the nooks and crannies of my mind, and the outer world. I feel like I am about to begin a class covering a topic about which I knew nothing. I am both interested and excited about the coming year. So bring it on!

I am also curious to know more about you. Take this as an official poke and prod. Come on, indulge me in the comments or email me at Enlighten me with a few details about you. Be assured, I will do the same.


A Thought For Your 2020

Made by Lydia Kimble-Wright with Over App

May the New Year bring you joy, good health, happiness, love, good health, peace of mind, body and spirit, and abundant blessings.

2015: My Journey Towards Wholeness

It’s down to the wire. Whereas last year, I’d already chosen my word for 2014, this year is different. The word itself is more than a little elusive. I’ve mulled through and discarded one word after another. It is not that the words are inconsequential, it’s simply that they did not speak to me. I wanted a word that makes my heart leap with excitement in the coming months, eagerly living and immersing myself in a new state of being. One with the potential to positively affect me for the rest of my life. Finally, with the indirect influence of the amazing storyteller, Meghan Genge, I’ve chosen the word “reintegration” as my word for 2015.

Last month, an amazing life coach that I know, Sas Petherick, along with Meghan Genge, created the first “Heart & Hearth.” The idea, as stated here, was to gather an “open-hearted global circle of women, gathered around a virtual hearth fire, to remember the sacred, in the days leading up to December.” No one can deny that the days before Thanksgiving and culminating on New Year’s day is a non-stop flurry of stress-inducing, activity. For many, it is a period of sadness, anxiety and depression. The thought of anything that might introduce calm into that frenetic period was enticing. I’d taken an e-course with Sas, and I was excited to work with her again.

For 18 days, we received a “story, meditation, love letter, or reading,” from eighteen guides from around the world. Each morning, greeted us with a “gift” from one of our guides. Except for Sas, I did not know any of the guides. The guide had free reign, but the topic had to speak to some form of heart and/or hearth. We never knew what to expect, except that it would be meaningful. Although we were blessed with thoughtful and varying selections relating to heart and/or hearth, ranging from tarot card readings, poems, and yoga, all exemplified variants of the sacredness of heart and hearth.

Day 18 brought Meghan Genge, a novelist, teacher and, most compelling to me, a storyteller. Meghan’s story was a mere seven and one-half minute SoundCloud recording, but it captured my soul from beginning to end. In it, I felt a knowing and familiarity that I’ve sought for a long time, and here it was in this short beautiful fairytale (as Meghan refers to it).. (It is unfortunate, that because of my ineptitude with the technical or that the recording is private, I can’t play it for you to enjoy yourself. Although I am not the storyteller that Meghan is, I hope to cover the highlights.)

Perhaps, I am drawn to it because I realize that with my blog, Seeking Querencia, by journeying into my inner world, I, too, have been seeking home. But, not “home” in the literal sense. I mean, that “home” which enfolded me for nine months before my birth, and where I was my pure, unadulterated, whole self, unsullied by life in the outside world. Anyway, I will touch on that later on.

The gist of the ‘fairytale’ (Most importantly, as I interpret it.) is about a woman, Mary, who seeks her figurative “home.” Her search leads her to the place that she knows in her heart is the home that she seeks. Before she can enter, however, she must go through an old woman, a gate-keeper of sorts, whose task it was to ensure that the women who entered were prepared to do so. Instead of welcoming Mary through the entrance, the old woman peered at her, through her and around her, seeing something that was invisible to Mary. Returning to look at her, the old woman surprised Mary by telling her that she had work yet to do, and that she was not ready to enter. She told her that she should “call them home.” Mary, wholly unprepared for the old woman’s words, was understandably confused.

Still perplexed, but with the light cast by the old woman’s lamp, and her persistent prodding, Mary looked about her, as if for the first time. This time, she noticed scores of “gossamer threads” hovering in the air all around her, and extending into the distance. Instead of clarifying the situation, Mary was further confounded. Laughing, the old woman pulled one of the threads and Mary felt a tug originating from within her. It startled her to find that the threads were attached to her. Yet, she still didn’t understand.

Suddenly, she understood. Each thread represented pieces of her that she’d parted with during previous encounters, worries, disappointments, hurts, longings, day-to-day life and more. Retrieving these parts of herself was the work yet to do; they were the missing pieces that prevented her from being whole, and that denied her entrance into her home. (This was the part of the story that brought me to tears, because in it, I recognized myself.) One at a time, she coaxed the precious parts of her self that she left behind over a lifetime, back home, to their rightful place.

The final thread, however, was much longer than the others and proved more of a challenge. It required a more gentle and compassionate hand. It finally responded to Mary’s call. At first, Mary could not clearly see this part of herself. Finally, it was clear. Running towards her, with outstretched arms like a child separated from her mother, was a much younger version of herself. Mary understood, and scooped her up, hugging her tightly. With this Mary completed her work; they were home. Now, the entrance was open to her. She was home.

Mary’s story is mine. From my father’s abandonment at five, to the multiple marriages and divorces, the loss of my beloved brother, shame, guilt, anger, unresolved circumstances, my past is littered with pieces of myself. The purity of that innocent newborn no longer existed. It is like a piece of smooth granite that with each strike of the sculptor’s tools, is chiseled away, piece by piece. Unfortunately, in my case, the process detracted from the beauty within, instead of exposed it. Over time, the void grew larger and larger and more impossible to fill. As I listened to the tale and the details of Mary’s last thread, I visualized little “Lydia,” no longer scared and frightened, smiling and giggling as she bounded towards me, as though we’d been separated for decades. In reality, we had. The tears flowed.

The “fairytale” made me realize that in order for my inner, true, soul home to be complete, I must be whole. My tears were for those missing pieces of myself that I needed to welcome home where they belong, because only then, can the void be filled.

My goal for 2015 is to excavate my life to unearth those pieces of me that, though not gone, were unintentionally left behind. My quest is to call them home. Granted, it may take longer than the year, because this is real life, and not a fairytale. Hell, it may take the rest of my lifetime. Nevertheless, however long it takes, I intend to follow every precious thread back to each innate part of myself. As I find them, I will work to reintegrate them back home, back into me.

I am overcome with excitement for this upcoming chapter in my life, because while doing so, I will realize one of the purposes for creating this blog, to tell my story about finding my true home. Reintegration is a vital part of my journey, which is indeed “seeking querencia,” the road towards the inner home for which this blog is named. What a fairytale ending it will be!

May your new year be blessed, healthy and happy. Until next year…


Quote Tuesday

“Honor to the earth,” the abbot said, “honor to the dead in the passing of the year; honor to the living, in the coming of the new. A Great Year passes tonight. A new one begins. Let the good that is old continue and let the rest perish….”
~ C.J. Cherryh, Fortress of Owls