Throwback Sunday

What Ifs

It is cold, rainy and wintry, by Central Texas standards, and the absence of sun seems ripe for contemplation. Although I try not to let it happen, today turned into a “what if” day. Don’t you hate those days. What if, I done this differently? What if, I done that differently? What if, I’d stayed in New Orleans all those long years ago, instead of moving to Texas? What would my life be like? What if, I listened to all those people who told me that my life was over when I made the foolish mistake of becoming a teen mother? What if, I believed that I was destined to be yet another statistic and on the public dole with no education or skills to take care of myself or my children?  I’ve concluded that engaging in these “what ifs” comes down to questioning ourselves and our past choices, a yearning for ‘the road not taken.’ 
 
Recently, I was reading bits and pieces of my twitter stream and someone referred to the phrase “the road less travelled,” which is often used in reference to Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken.” As I recall, I read the poem for the first time in an high school English class. http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html At the time, the wannabe rebel in me, wanting to set her own path and follow no one, assumed that, Frost was advising that, when faced with two forks in the road, one trodden by the masses and the other, not so, to take the road less traveled. I was wrong because in both stanzas two and three Frost asserts little difference between the roads.
He writes,
“Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
… And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black”

 

However, I think that it is the final paragraph that informs us of the true meaning of the poem:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
 
Frost’s use of the words “I shall be telling this with a sigh” indicates a sense of regret and wonder about the choice he made so long ago. In hindsight, even he wonders how his life would differ had he chosen to trod the other road. Although even amongst scholars, the poem’s interpretation is in dispute, I believe the poem is about choice in general, hindsight and especially, regret wrought by a choice between those equally appealing options.  
 
Our life is but a series of blind choices. This applies to every decision in our lives–one choice, means the exclusion of another choice. Mom was right, you really can’t have it both ways. Lacking prescience, we make our choices based on blind faith with no knowledge of where the choice will lead. In others, when we are forced to choose between equally compelling options, the choice is far from clear. Instead of resorting to “what ifs,” after determining the pros and cons of each choice, and the information at hand, we choose; then we pray for the best or release it to our God/Spirit/Source, for that is the most that we can do. In choosing, we necessarily reject options that only the fates know where they would lead and minimize the “what ifs” that will lead nowhere. We chose, we live, and time will tell. 
postsiggie2

Throwback Sunday

Source: WikiCommons

My Favorite Childhood Games

A couple nights ago, I enjoyed a visit with my youngest g’daughter. At 4 1/2, she is at the stage where her constant refrain is, “Want to play with me?”  I was tired and in pain but whether I wanted to or not, I didn’t dare disappoint her. So, I dutifully accepted my assigned role as “Toad,” (For the uninitiated “Toad” is a character from the land of Mario Brothers.) while she is “Toadette.” We laugh and play and before I know it,  the pain has eased and I feel relaxed and contented. As I sat there, I thought back to those days long ago when I was young and carefree and the games that I loved to play.  These are some of my all-time favorite games that I loved to play and things that I loved to do:

  • Jacks
  • Tether Ball
  • Volleyball
  • Hopscotch
  • Swinging (the higher the better), and
  • Blowing Bubbles
Back then, computers were unheard of by most people and a child’s needs were simpler. We spent our “playtime” outside instead of inside in front of a television or computer.  Mario’s brother was likely the kid down the block, and not a game, and toads were a type of frog.  We were physically active and relished the daylight hours, especially the seemingly long summer days. The only reasons to go inside involved potty breaks, food and drink. What about you?  What were your childhood favorites? How did you spend those hot summer days? 
postsiggie2

Throwback Sunday

IMG_2700

Over five years ago, I began this blog without a single follower. It was after a period of aching to start a blog that I “accidentally” pressed the publish button and the rest is history. At the time, I had a few followers. It wasn’t important to me because at the deepest level, I wrote for me. At various times over the years, I’ve vacillated between desiring to attract lots of followers and being grateful for those that I have already. Currently, I am practicing gratitude for what I have in the current moment. The rest is unimportant.

I’ve written a number of blog posts, some that I liked more than others. Recently, I was reading earlier posts and realized that many have as much relevance today, as they held the day that I published them. So, I’ve decided to repost some of them a couple of times a month, with editing and additional language, as needed. I hope that one or two of them strike a chord with you. This was my first blog post.

postsiggie2

Okay, I admit it. I don’t know what a “jump break” is and my chosen blog page layout is wrong and I do not know how to fix it. Yet, I am beginning to sense a lesson here–NONE OF THIS CRAP MATTERS! I intend this blog to complement my inner journey towards “letting go of the small stuff,” in favor of delving inward deeper in order to create a deeper relationship with myself. It is a place to pose questions that have no answers, but also to laugh, wax eloquent, be a meeting place, and most importantly, to have fun. It’s the journey, not the outcome that I am most interested in.

All that matters to me is getting these words posted, and if that be on a less than perfect blog, so be it.  I have a great deal to learn about the matters of blogging and I am confident that I will do so as time goes by. For now, I know that I can hunt and peck this my first ever real post. I realize now that I do not need to be an expert blogger to do that–just little ole me, and that is more than enough.  The rest is small stuff.  Blessings, Peace, and Namaste, Lydia