Just me.

Taken on January 5th of me for The 52 Week Project

This is 1/52 taken on January 5th for The 52 Week Project

My oldest daughter, as an actress and mother, is photographed all the time. I mean, her husband is a photographer.  She does not take after her mother in that regard. No, for me, it is the opposite. Whereas she is comfortable in front of the camera, I am not. The fact is that I run like the wind when a camera comes near. It is the very rare photo of me that I like.

As I read my dear friend Anita’s blog, Here In The Midst Of It, she discussed The 52 project. You can read about it here. In brief, the project is about mothers, realizing that life is fleeting and their little ones grow up much too fast, documenting one moment a week in their child’s life through photo and posting it on their blog. There are some mechanics involved but that it not really the point. Having 3 grown children, I can attest to the ‘now you see them,’ ‘now you don’t’ quality of childhood and wish that this project was around back then. Now I have 6 1/4 grandchildren, but with busy schedules and such, I can’t guarantee that I can shoot a photo a week. So, if I am unable to shoot a photo of one of them, I will do like Anita and take a photo of myself.

I view this as a perfect opportunity to confront my fears and learn to be comfortable in front of the camera, or at least to tolerate it. In all honesty, there is also an aspect of disliking the way that I look and not wishing it to see it memorialized for anyone to see. Posting a photo of myself is a way of thumbing my nose at fear and becoming comfortable with me — just as I am. It was not easy taking this first photo, but I got through it and one week at a time, I hope to become more and more comfortable at it. One day soon, I hope to meet myself in the mirror and say, “Hey, beautiful, I know you and you are enough.”

Blessings, Lydia

All Will Be Well ~St. Julian of Norwich

Tea Time

Tea Time
As has been the case since January 1, I am on a mission to reduce clutter and increase organization in our home. I am going through the books stacked all through the house, as well as closets filled with items that I purchased years ago that are left unopened. The Goodwill pile is growing each day and I am far from finished.

After another taxing day, I had to stop because the pain had ratcheted up as I tore through the house. Such is the case with fibromyalgia. In my case, even though I take pain medications before hand, physical activity increases the pain from its’ every day level to one much higher and less controlled. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to take the attitude that I will have the pain no matter what I do, so I may as well end the day with a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment. My body was saying enough is enough, and I respectfully listened. Before I settled in, however, I made a blend of dried lavender, chamomile, lemon balm, red roses and orange peel for a fragrant cup of tea. It was perfect.

So, it should come as no surprise that when I settled down, I headed straight for Polyvore. I wanted to make a collage based on the color of the ingredients in my tea, that is, red, purple, yellow, orange and green. The above collage is the result. By the time that I’d finished both my tea and the collage, the pain was easing and I felt better. Tea, it does a body good. 🙂

Blessings, Lydia

All Will Be Well, St. Julian of Norwich

Call me a Polyvore girl.

I'm a deep color girl.
Today has been a dreary day. I’m talking about inside not outside. Although it is too cold for my taste, the sky was a vivid bright blue and the sun shone brightly caressing everything within its reach. No, I woke up feeling pretty awful with a head cold so I burrowed deeper under the covers and when back to sleep. When I woke up, I felt better but still icky, but not enough to linger in bed.

I am on a ‘beginning of the year’ tear and every day, the Goodwill pile is getting higher and higher. I piled it with books, clothes, electronics and a slew of items that I’ve bought over the years and never even opened, but this post is not about my little shopping problem. I even created a stack of items that I think certain people in my life will enjoy, so the postal service will be happy with me next week

Finally, after wearing myself out sufficiently, I grabbed for my cell phone and the computer. I answered a few texts and emails. Next, I went to Facebook, my favorite online community. Once there, I largely ignored the overwhelming number of notifications because I felt too crappy to answer them coherently. Setting that aside, I surveyed the open tabs on my computer. This is embarrassing but I seriously have, at least, 15 open tabs on my lap top. None of them interested me but Polyvore.

Since I explained what Polyvore is all about in an earlier post, I’ll let you read about it here and I won’t elaborate. The thing is that the site has become my go-to place when I (1) want to totally relax and vegetate, and/or (2) CREATE something. Believe me, with my e-courses, I have enough to keep my creative juices flowing, well forever, but I just wasn’t in the mood to get up and get out the painting and/or drawing accoutrements — that required physical activity on my part that I couldn’t muster.

So, Polyvore is the next best thing. With nothing more than my lap top, from the comfort of my bed, I can create collages in every hue and color imaginable, and at my fingertips is everything that I need, no scissors or gel medium necessary. For me, it is all about color, but I am realizing that I am also learning about composition, placement and design. It is totally mindless fun and I love posting my latest creation. Especially on a day like today, when I feeling completely unproductive, I feel that I’ve accomplished something with Polyvore to the rescue.

You really should try it out for yourself.

Blessings, Lydia

All Will Be Well. ~St. Julian of Norwich

Here’s To Making Magic And Mistakes in 2014

Fireworks

Fireworks (Photo credit: bayasaa)

It is a new year and there must be something that I want to say about it. In this post, I already disclosed that my word for 2014 is ‘courage,’ and believe me, there is much to say about that in future posts. A Facebook friend posted a quote about the New Year written by Neil Gaiman. Initially, I thought it perfect, but still I hesitated to use it in this post. Lest there be any misunderstanding, I love the quote. In fact, here it is:

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some find books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. And don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or create or sing or live as only you can. And, I hope somewhere in the next year you surprise yourself.

As you can see for yourself, it is an inspiring and uplifting quote. I particularly like the first sentence, especially the reference to ‘good madness.’ Generally, one thinks of madness as a negative or undesirable state of being; such as, “That woman is mad,” which is a less offensive way of saying, “That woman has lost her f***ing mind!” When I think of the phrase ‘good madness,’ I think of one taking affirmative steps to let go, have fun, engage in raucous laughter, and to live fully and happily.

I suppose that I should add that in my mind, all New Year wishes and offerings are, in actuality, blessings pure and simple. When one blesses you, as the Oxford dictionary confirms, they may intend to invoke “a prayer asking for God’s favor or protection.” On the other hand, the word ‘blessing’ is also defined as “a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being….” A sincere well-wisher is expressing in mere words, a gift of his or her’s desire that you experience the very best that life has to offer.

Anyway, I went to Neil Gaiman’s website curious to see what I would find. After wandering to and fro, I discovered a ‘blessing‘ that I identify with and offer to you for the New Year. It is:

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.” ~ Neil Gaiman

Much like the phrase “good madness,” “making mistakes” is a call to action. The opposite of action is inaction and although it ensures a lack of risk and, I suppose one can argue, a sense of security, it does not allow for growth or the opportunity to engage in our lives. Personally, I think that it offers a lifeless and boring existence, lacking happiness or excitement.

Life provides us a series of choices and decisions. Which path do I choose?  Which job do I take? Is this the man or woman of my dreams? Don’t search for certainty where there is none to be found. There is no certainty in any decision that we make. In fact, there is a 50/50 chance that the choice that you make is right, and an equal chance that it is a big, fat mistake. Such is life.

The answer is not to shield ourselves from our ‘mistakes’ by refusing to act. The very act of choosing is life affirming, and it is a fact of life that some of our choices will be mistakes. The thing is that mistakes are the stuff of life that, if responded to properly, offer opportunities for growth and inner wisdom. They offer life lessons that certainty will never offer. It takes courage to act in the face of uncertainty. Just do it and prepare for a rich and exciting New Year filled with abundant blessings. I’ll toast to that!

Blessings, Lydia

All will be well. ~St. Julian of Norwich