Be gentle with yourself. Imagine your dearest love needing care and comfort. Treat yourself as you would that person. You can’t be there for anyone, if you don’t take care of yourself and honor yourself. Just as the airplane instructions note, you have to put your oxygen mask on first, before you can help others. It is NOT selfish to focus your attention on amazing, compassionate you. It is an act of love.
Having three children myself, I know that the love of a child is enduring. I can’t imagine the loss that she must feel, and I expect that the sense of ‘doing something’ that derives from this tribute is great. Yet, it is only a balm for her feelings. May she, one day, know happiness. May she, one day, know peace.